Sustainably Single Parenting

Making the most of life's journey alongside my three!!!

Blogging Hiatus June 21, 2013

I love this blog.

A little less than one year ago Sustainably Single Parenting (SSP) began. My goal was to be candid about my life as things progressed; from the end of my relationship with my abusive husband to whatever lied ahead for me and my kids. I was pregnant, in school full time, broke, and terrified. I wasn’t sure if I’d be homeless by the end of my pregnancy, I wasn’t sure how I’d manage to pay for things. I lived on two-four hours of sleep almost every night. But three nights a week I’d write.

I’d write about what I was feeling, how I missed him, how I grieved. I’d write about the children, their transition, and counseling. I’d write about my terror, and my methods for finding peace. I’d write about the disappointment of losing a dream. And through everything, people listened. People read, and reached out, and responded, and gave advice. People showed genuine empathy, told their stories, gave encouragement, and helped me to revitalize my self-confidence.

This blog has been a lifeline, a therapeutic outlet for me. It has been a chance for me to come forward about my situation, and hopefully, to inspire other victims to find the strength to leave their abusers. This blog has been a way for me to connect with amazing people, read heartwarming and heart-wrenching stories, and stand strong as a survivor who is certain of her ability to thrive.

I do not plan to give up blogging. I will return to SSP. But for awhile, I’ll have to take a break to work on other things. I’m in my last semester of graduate school, and though I only blog two days each week, finding the time and energy to keep on that schedule while single parenting three babies and taking two classes and maintaining a household is proving much too stressful. I want to keep telling my story, keep connecting with readers and meeting new people, keep on helping the DV community in some small way.

My plan is to come back once I graduate (August 2013) or sooner if I can manage to find more balance before I finish my Master’s degree. Until then, you can stay updated on our journey via Twitter. I hate to have to leave, but I have to sacrifice some things if I want to graduate without repeating my last semester. I’ve come this far…I have to do what is necessary for me to finish.

I know you all will understand. I will miss you until I blog again 🙂


Go Mama! November 9, 2012

My daughters are my biggest cheerleaders. They encourage me in everything that I do, and literally cheer when I’ve done something that requires any effort. When I find an item we’ve been looking for I hear, “Go Mama!” When I tell them that we stayed under our spending limit on a shopping trip they scream, “Go Mama!” So I didn’t find it odd, but I did appreciate it, when tonight they cheered for me after hooking up our cable.

We haven’t had cable since The Big Incident. I don’t really care for watching television, and for the length of our recently expired internet promotion it wasn’t worth it. The girls have a library of educational videos and kids shows on VHS, so it’s not like they get no visual media experience, we just haven’t been able to flip the channels in some time. I have enjoyed cable in the past, but since having children and beginning graduate school I’ve had no time to watch it, let alone commit to certain shows.

Today we got cable. It’s another promo, so we’ll see how it goes, but the best part of getting to watch TV is the fact that I saved money by setting up everything by myself. This may seem like a minor thing to some of you, but coax cables, splitters, adapters, and programming remotes are the type of tasks husbands are made for. I had never done this before.

I was intimidated and being scrutinized. I’d already told the girls what I had gotten us, and they lingered giddily as I dug behind the television, bookshelf and desk to fish out randomly placed, varying lengths and colors of connecting cables. The box didn’t come with instructions and I almost considered giving up, but…

One and a half hours of fidgeting with things, trying new pathways for the cables, and testing it out with my newly programmed remote, I hear, “GO MAMA!” I’d done it. We had a picture, we had sound, we had a loaded program guide, and we had saved ourselves some money by not sending anybody out here to set it up.

I DID IT! A task that I’d always considered too difficult, too much of a man’s forte to worry about learning (like changing my oil, filling my tires with air, and anything involving a hammer). But I did it. Granted, it took me awhile, but I pushed through it, I didn’t give up, and I was rewarded by the cheering of my biggest fans.

Yeah 🙂 Go Mama!