Sustainably Single Parenting

Making the most of life's journey alongside my three!!!

Nobody Said This Was Going To Be Easy March 15, 2013

I am incredibly overwhelmed.

I put off my coursework to care for my kids.

I do my housework since I’m not doing coursework.

I put off my housework to do my coursework.

While doing my coursework my kids wreck the house.

The baby will not let me put her down.

I am constantly nursing, changing diapers, leaking milk, burping, soothing, being spit up on, peed on, pooped on.

I am constantly serving meals, washing dishes, pre-washing cloth diapers, grooming my children, educating my children, feeling guilty that I cannot find the time for educating myself, running errands, running myself into the ground.

I want to cry like my baby. Her cry is so committed, wholeheartedly unabashed.

I want someone to hold me, to rock me, to love me, to shhhhhhhh in my ear while I cry.

I want so badly for things to be alright.

 

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13 Responses to “Nobody Said This Was Going To Be Easy”

  1. maria5125 Says:

    I can’t even imagine. I wish I could help out. Just know that this too will pass and it will get better!

  2. juliamadrazo1 Says:

    I wish I could help out a bit too. Isn’t there anyone you can call to help out every once in a while?

    • Jet Says:

      Not really. We moved here so that I can go to school and I really haven’t met many people (other than my classmates, and they are all at a much different life stage then I am). I have no family here, and although I have 1 good girlfriend she also has a child and a busy life. My neighbor is helpful, but she is also really busy, and when she helps me it is for a fee. I know that I am NOT alone emotionally. I am grateful to at least have people with me in that area.

      • juliamadrazo1 Says:

        Please know that you are an inspiration to us and I’m glad that you’re not alone emotionally. I just feel so frustrated for you! I understand what you feel and if I weren’t halfway around the world I’d help out!

      • Jet Says:

        You’re so sweet. Thank you! This is a frustrating situation, but I do believe we’ll come out alright 😉

  3. kp Says:

    I remember those days when it felt like there was never a moment for me; when it felt like I had to put so much energy out for others with no one taking care of me. It was incredibly hard. AND I had a partner to share the load. I have wondered many times how anyone could manage it all on their own….BUT it does get easier as the kids get older. Hang in there…. Kim

    • Jet Says:

      Thank you! I will attempt to enjoy their childhood days while simultaneously looking forward to the years when they’ll be better able to participate in carrying the load of our family. I so badly want to cherish every moment, but I’m also anxious for the day they learn to sweep! Lol. Sigh. I suppose I could do my best to look on the bright side of things. Everyone is healthy, we are currently not homeless, and there’s still hope for the future being bright 🙂

      • kp Says:

        I think both things are true; it is incredibly hard; particuarly the sleep deprivation…and you want to enjoy it as much as you can. I look back and wished I had savoured it more but at the time, I was so exhausted, it was hard to do. You are not alone in your feelings!!

      • Jet Says:

        Thank you! Good to know I’m not the only one who feels too tired to enjoy it at times, lol. I wonder if that’s why everyone with older children tells you to cherish it so much; they all probably remember how impossible it was while they were going through it too!

      • kp Says:

        You are absolutely right….my kids are 19, 22 and 33 now…BUT I remember those days so well…they were exhausting but they fly by. Kim

  4. Still Scared( but getting angry) Says:

    Just hugs and I understand! Can’t help but can pray and am doing so. It is really hard!


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