I waited until I was nine weeks pregnant to tell my daughters about Baby # 3. They were going through so many changes already, and I didn’t know how the news would affect them. Amara took it so wonderfully that she made me happier to be pregnant. Terra said bluntly, “I don’t want a boy.”
The baby has become a part of our daily lives already. Amara eagerly awaits the bi-weekly emails to arrive that describe the fetus’ current developments and compare its size to fruits and vegetables. Terra will kiss and talk to my belly sporadically.
We visited the How Your Life Began exhibit at the Museum of Science, and read an array of books on conception, the human body, and being a sibling. The girls are full of questions: when will the baby be here? how will the baby behave? what can we teach the baby? how frequently will the baby nurse? will the baby be a brother or a sister?
I plan to take them with me to my 20 week prenatal appointment (infamous for the ultrasound where I’ll be able to find out the baby’s sex). Choosing between the earthy, lyrical, well-planned girl child’s name and the stock first boy child’s name, Tyler, was a birthing surprise the first two times. This pregnancy, however, I am incredibly anxious to find out whether or not I am expecting a boy.
A boy would mean more research, more clothing, more fretting over being a single mom and the uncertainty of properly raising up a young man. On the other hand, I’m already dealing with the uncertainty of properly raising up two young women. I suppose in both respects a mother does the best she can. This baby will be my last, and although I’d be happy with a healthy baby regardless of its sex, I would love to experience raising a son (much to Terra’s chagrin).
I love that the girls are so interactive with my pregnancy. I thought that being single and pregnant would be the most horrible thing, and it certainly has its low points, but although there is no one to give me massages (or be the target of my annoyance with the, thus far, 12 weeks of constant nausea and fatigue) there are two little girls who love me, who hug me daily and already show their love for our baby-to-be. They tell me I look beautiful when I least expect it, they help around the house whenever they can, and they joyfully join me in all things baby preparation. I may be single, but I am not alone on this journey, and I rather enjoy the company.